| Oh boy its been quite a long time since I have written in here. Things are going extremely shitty for me right now, its like im slowly losing control of everything... agian. What the fuck is wrong with me? Why can't I just be happy with one thing, what is the deal with my constantly dynamic way of thinking. No matter what it seems that I just can't win. I have so much that I need to write about and so much that I just wish I could take back and change. =\ I wish I had someone to love me but, yea you guessed it. This girl was amazing, she did everything for me and she was beautiful on top of that. She deserved everything in the world and I gave her nothing, but you know thats what happens I guess. I should have seen it coming. If I could take it all back I would change EVERYTHING. I would hold her every night as close to me as I possibly could and never let her go. I hate having emotional rollercoaster rides, my mind just constantly races and the worst part of it is that I have no friends to hang out with to take my mind off of things, how did it all go wrong? where did i start to fuck things up? All these answers that I just cant find the solutions too and alls it leads me to do is just wander. Its like that point you can get to where you dont care who you hang out with you just need any kind of human concact because you just feel so lonely inside. Well, thats how I feel, I feel very empty, very alone and like a big piece of me is missing. And the only thing I want to do is hold her in my arms again. I hope these feelings end soon. |
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